


The Rant Song

by belovedplank



Category: Scrubs
Genre: Episode Related, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-05
Updated: 2012-08-05
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belovedplank/pseuds/belovedplank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JD’s thoughts as Cox rants at him</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rant Song

**Author's Note:**

> JD’s thought’s during The Rant Song  
> Spoilers: My Musical  
> TRS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGHa6XwJo54  
> \- will make no sense unless you watch this FIRST.

 

The answer is, a lot – but why?

 

And then he lists the reasons:

-and ohmygod can he rant at hyperspeed or what?

 

_It's your hair  
_

My hair – what’s wrong with my hair?

 

_Your nose  
_

My nose – that’s the second time someone’s dissed my nose today!

 

_Your chinless face, you always need a hug,  
_

And yes! I need a hug – you’ve never given me one in 6 YEARS!

 

_Not to mention all the manly appletini's that you chug.  
_

Four insults before a jibe at my manliness, that’s pretty good. And he’d like appletini’s too if he’d just TRY one!

 

_That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex,  
_

I don’t know why he even tries to deny it anymore, the entire hospital *knows* how much I look up to and respect him (and am attracted…hush! no-one knows THAT!) If he didn’t want to be my mentor he shouldn’t help and support me so much!

 

_And oh my god please stop telling me when you have dirty sex!  
_

…ok, I’ll give him that one. Although I doubt he’d rather I share the fantasies I have about him and me in his Porsche…..

 

_See Newbie that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree, 'coz no matter how I rant at you, you never let me be.  
_

 

See?! If I was nothing more than another resident, would he still refer to me as Newbie? It’s practically an endearment now!

And I don’t *mean* to annoy him – it’s not like I do it on purpose! I just like to be near him, spend time with him – even if it means answering to girls names.

 

_So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be my son.  
_

Eep! I love Jack, but regardless of everyone’s assumptions (including obviously Dr Cox’s), his son is the last thing I wish to be…it would make my feelings even *more* scary!

 

_It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one.  No I'm not the only one...  
_

Suicidal – that, that really hurt. I know I can be a bit much to take – hyper and babbling and far too goofy and optimistic for the likes of Dr Cox, but I actually cause him that much pain? What’s *wrong* with me?

 

**_It all started with a penny in the door. There was a hatred I had never felt before._ **

**_So now I'll make him pay, each and every day._ **

**_Until that mousse-haired little nuisance is no more.  
_ **

The Janitor is evil. And insane. He has *absolutely no reason* to hate me so much!

 

 

_So now that is why I call you names like Carol, Jane, and Sue._

_Like Moesha, Kim, and Lillian, Suzanne and Betty Lou._

_Regardless of the names I pick my feelings are quite clear, you’re a pain in every day, of every month of every year.  
_

 And THERE’S the girl’s names! That’s more normal. Although him generally ranting about and at me is pretty normal. I guess it’s never actually been quite this many negative and hurtful things all at once though.

 

Shut your cakehole Marybeth, or I swear to god I'll shut it soon!

_Congratulations, we'll schedule your test this afternoon._

OK, being called a girl’s name by a *patient* is a bit much, and that’s it, I need to get away before he sees my tears, or I’ll never live it down. 

 

At least I now know the answer to the question I have asked myself for years; Should I tell him how I feel?

 

Unequivocally, NO.

 


End file.
